Arga barga

“Arga barga” is about all I feel truly competent to say. The brain is scrambled. Scrambled, I tell you. And out of the info-overloaded mess between my ears, I must somehow extract a coherent, informative and entertaining workshop by next Thursday. (Okay, I don’t have to give the workshop until Saturday, but I like to leave myself some wiggle room for the inevitable disaster.)

Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t be at this particular level of arga-barga at this point in time (relative to my performance). I’d be hip-deep in writing the workshop. The thing is, I got in just a little bit over my head.

I thought I understood emotion–which is half the heart of the workshop. It turns out I didn’t understand it at all. It’s all tied up with consciousness, which is just as weird as it seemed in the fall, when I began this research. Consciousness is huge, it’s taking me in all kinds of interesting directions that I think will radically impact the way I develop characters (the other half of the heart of the workshop), and I think that will make for an even cooler workshop than I’d hoped for.

So why am I struggling with this now?

For once in my life, it isn’t procrastination. It’s partly that I had other things that were just as important, but were slightly more urgent because they had earlier deadlines. It’s partly that it took me a while to digest some of the things I read in the fall, and it’s partly that it’s taken me this long to find the books I needed all along. Great books, that I might not have been able to absorb in November, but still…

I think part of what’s making me so dead, mentally, is that I’m writing the workshop with half my brain while I’m absorbing new information with the other. And I’m trying to grasp what I’m learning so I can use it as a writer, and that’s a huge mental-energy suck. Still, I really do think this is going to turn characterization inside out for me, and I suspect that will add nuance and grit to the people living in my stories. And if I can see how by next Thursday, I’ll be able to tell other people about it, and they’ll get something out of this. (And I’ll be very excited by this, and an excited speaker generally makes for an interesting speaker. So this is all good. Really.)

I can’t say more, but I can give you a partial list of the books I’ve read that have led me to this point. In no particular order:

 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cherry Red
    Mar 21, 2007 @ 22:30:00

    Go Katy!

    You can do it. I love your excitement and enthusiasm in the subject matter and I know you’re going to give a fabulous workshop. I wish I could be there to see you. Someday I’ll make the trip and attend your NEC con.

    Good vibes headed from the west coast to the east coast! 🙂

    Kim

    Reply

  2. Cherry Red
    Mar 24, 2007 @ 00:45:00

    Hi Katy,
    I just thought I’d let you know that I posted a little thank you note to Clare on her Three Beautiful Things Blog and she replied back to me on 3/22/07 on my TBT Blog. Cool huh? 🙂

    Kim:), doing a fangirl *squee*

    Reply

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