November 30, 2008: What I’ve Been Doing

Just for the fun of it, I thought I would post a little example of what I’ve been doing, trying to get into Mr. Enser’s skin and see the scene with Ilsabet from his perspective.

Here it is from lsabet’s POV:

Manners first, questions later. She indicated the sofa facing the windows as she went to sit on the one opposite. “Good day, Mr. Enser. Won’t you be seated?”

He blinked at her, blink, blink, blink. He was pale, his skin waxy, his hair a dull fair color, and his eyes so light they seemed to have no color at all.

“Are you Lady Ilsabet?”

“Yes, I am. Do join me.”

Somehow she had expected he would creep to the sofa. Instead he loped across the room in two long strides and sat down as abruptly as a marionette with cut strings. He clutched his knees and stared at her. She tried not to stare back, waiting for him to open the conversation. Surely he knew that as petitioner, it was for him to begin? Silence stretched between them, the faint ticking of the mantelpiece clock clearly audible. Should she speak? It was a breach of manners, but how long would they sit there if she didn’t?

“I had a dream, my lady, about Lord Narthé,” he said suddenly.

“Lord Narthé?” It was a dragon’s name; she recognized that much.

And now here’s the same sequence as I’m working on it, with notes about Mr. Enser’s experience italicized in brackets:

She indicated the sofa facing the windows as she went to sit on the one opposite. “Good day, Mr. Enser. Won’t you be seated?”

“Are you Lady Ilsabet?” <She doesn’t look the way he thought an altus lady would. She seems gentle and kind, not haughty.>

“Yes, I am. Do join me.”

He crossed the room in two long strides and sat down. He clutched his knees and stared at her.

Silence stretched between them, the faint ticking of the mantelpiece clock clearly audible.  <All his energy has gone into getting here and getting in to see her, so it takes him a few moments to gather his wits and remember the point of the effort to see her.>

“I had a dream, my lady, about Lord Narthé,” he said suddenly. <The words burst out of him.>

“Lord Narthé?”

This is just a small example — I’ve got a page and a half of this so far, with two plus pages to go. I have a feeling I’m going to end up making fairly extensive changes to those two pages. They just don’t feel right for the Mr. Enser I’ve been living with.

This is really hard work, and sometimes I think, “I expected this to be easy. I expected it to be quick…” The thing is, I think this is going to be far and away the best thing I’ve ever written, and if it takes time and a whole lot of effort, so be it. it will have been worth it if I produce something truly wonderful.

Advertisements

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sheilamcmahon
    Dec 02, 2008 @ 19:15:21

    Hi. I’m not exactly sure how I got linked to your page, but your writing is very compelling. I’m not into dragons myself, but maybe if I read Dragonfly I would be. Definitely keep writing! 🙂

    I am a writer, too, (although not published) and also an extrovert – I thought that was funny when I read it on your “about” section. My husband writes too, and he’s definitely introverted – except when he’s doing stand up. Go figure, right? Anyway, good luck with your book!
    Sheila

    Reply

  2. katycooper
    Dec 02, 2008 @ 20:31:14

    I’m glad you came by! I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing dragons and saints — it’s definitely one of those Girls in the Basement things you question at your peril…

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: