January 20, 2009: Writing For Myself

This evening, while I was waiting for the bus*, I was thinking about writing the next bit of the scene introducing Kerlis. Last night, I wrote down what I knew needed to happen next, which helped me know what to focus on. It gave my balky, wayward imagination some direction, something it desperately needs.

As I was thinking about writing the next bit, I start tensing up and getting anxious. This is the thing that stops me, more often then not: that anxious tension. I can’t write when I feel that way. Today, I imagined I was writing this next bit just for me, something that no one else would ever see to judge**. I relaxed immediately, and the ideas started flowing.

So I need to remember this: write for myself. Always write for myself; otherwise I don’t write.

* Apparently the bus stop is second only to the shower as a place I get insights and ideas. Writing them down is as easy. Which is to say, not.

** I guess I always assume judgments will be negative, even when I have experience that tells me otherwise.


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