January 25, 2009: True to Myself

I borrowed The Lucky Guide To Mastering Any Style: How To Wear Iconic Looks And Make Them Your Own by Kim France and Andrea Linett from the library. (Don’t ask why; I don’t remember.) Anyway, one of the iconic looks is American Classic (think polo shirts, pearls, gold hoops, Katherine Hepburn and Grace Kelly); another is Bohemian
(think peasant blouses, flowy skirts and Stevie Nicks). As I’m looking at the book, I’m thinking I should be drawn to the American Classic but in reality, the clothes that suck me in are the Bohemian pieces.

I do that a lot — try to be something and someone I’m not. It surprises my sister G. because, she says, I’m so strongly me.

I’ve done it with my writing, tried to follow rules that aren’t right for what I do. I write Bohemian, but keep thinking I should write American Classic.

I’m coming out of that. I’m paying attention to my inner reader, the one who bounces up and down in excitement, saying “Do it, do it, I wanna see it!” when I contemplate doing something that defies the rules I’ve internalized far too much the last few years. That’s the gift of time: that you finally learn who you are and then you learn to be true to that self.

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