February 14, 2009: Ch-changes

I’ve been alive for a while; I’ve been who I am for a while. So, in theory, nothing I do should surprise me, least of all the things I’ve been doing for a long time.

And yet I am surprised.

I’m surprised that I felt such a powerful desire to change the blog’s look that I blew through my window of opportunity to go to the gym. I shouldn’t be surprised by it, since I’m always changing  things I thought I was satisfied with. But I am.

I expect it’s because it’s not part of my image of myself. I don’t see myself as the sort of person who needs to change things, just because, so when I act like that person, it pulls me up short. I think I need to start recognizing that this is a fairly fixed facet of my character; this is something I will do for the rest of my life. In short, whatever I think, I am the sort of person who needs to change things, just because.

I’m not sure what this means for me as a writer, but I’m sure it means something. There isn’t a lot that’s true of me as a person that isn’t also true of me as a writer; that’s why understanding myself as one thing gives me insights into myself as the other thing. (Not all things carry over from one to the other; that’s why I talk about myself as two separate people.)

Maybe I need to think about this.

(On a side note, if you have any feelings, either way, about the new decor, I’d love to hear them.)


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Barbara Monajem
    Feb 15, 2009 @ 19:22:36

    I love the castle. Cold stone turned warm, vibrant, and otherworldly/othertimely. Austere and self-contained, too, in spite of all the light, so a little daunting, maybe? Whatever — it makes me smile. Since I’m trying to cook up a site of my own, I’m for once noticing this sort of thing.


  2. Pam
    Feb 16, 2009 @ 10:28:37

    Hi–Pam from JCW here (on my way over to see your plotting tools post.) I have to say from the little bit I know of you and your writing, this blog design fits. The castle looks like someplace I could find Lady Elsbeth, maybe a dragon in the sky behind it. And, if you so strongly felt the need to change it, I think that’s sign enough that it was right to do.


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