February 20, 2009: Rules

The bus is sitting at the last stop, waiting for its departure time, and I have all my stuff spread out, taking up two seats. Because there are still empty seats, I feel no compulsion to pack myself up. I can sit here with my darling Alphie at the perfect height on my lap, U2 playing on my iPod, and type away. I wish it could be like this every night.

I could spread out and refuse to pack up until the bus was stuffed to the gills, but I hate getting on the bus in the morning and finding seats barricaded like that, so there’s no way I’ll do it.

Hunh. I just realized that’s an example of being the change I want to see in the world.

But that’s not why I won’t do it. My real motivation is a passionate dislike of people who have one set of rules for themselves and another set for the rest of the world. I can’t abide people like that…and having written that, I’m now thinking I need to write a character like that. The empress, Kerlis’s grandmother, is a prime candidate, partly because there really is a different set of rules for her. My dislike of two-sets-of-rules people is irrational enough that on some level it doesn’t make a difference that the rules really are different; if she’s internalized them — and of course she has, how could she not? — she’ll annoy me. I’ll have to get over it; even though I won’t write from her POV, I’ll still need to be able to see the world through her eyes, and that’s not possible if irritation is distancing me. Writing her will be a challenge, but I think I’m up for it.


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