Stubborn Is Putting It Mildly

When the beloved and I are having a tussle, he will sometimes ask me why I have to be so stubborn.

Um, because I can’t help it.

I am the kind of person who will cut off her nose to spite her face, who will deny a truth she knows because she refuses to give in, who will dig in her heels and sing la-la-la with her fingers in her ears because she refuses to face something.

In other words, I’m pigheaded.

This is sometimes a troublesome quality to have. See above, for a brief list of its negative attributes.

On the other hand, it’s sometimes a very good quality to have. For example, despite all my anxieties, fears and doubts, I keep writing. I keep writing because I’m too stubborn, too pigheaded, to quit. I moaned my doubts yesterday; today I wrote over 500 words (and I’ll probably write more tonight because I can feel stuff pushing its way out).

I lost over 50 lbs. because I’m stubborn. I keep working out, despite struggling with it, because I’m stubborn.

I don’t always like being pigheaded. Sometimes I find it incredibly annoying and wish I could just let go of things. But sometimes, I’m really grateful for it.

Tonight is one of those times.

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