The Illusion of Intimacy

I’ve actually been thinking for a while about the illusion of intimacy blogs, tweets and Facebook/MySpace pages can create, but it didn’t really come to a head until today as I was thinking about what I was going to write.

Something has come up in my personal life that’s likely to interfere with both my working out and my writing, and I was thinking about writing about how frustrating and disheartening it is on the workout front that I have to start all over with my day count almost as soon as I got started. (My writing count is less likely to get interrupted because my weekly goal is one day of 100 words of narrative or 5 consecutive minutes of thinking on paper.) I have no problem talking about that, but I’m deeply unwilling to give any hint as to what’s going on. So I’m not going to talk about it.

The thing is, not talking about it brings into relief the fact that for all my apparent candor here, there are things I won’t talk about, won’t even refer to. I wonder, though, if if there really is an illusion of intimacy. I feel as if I know some of my favorite bloggers, but at the same time, I know I don’t. I know there are whole parts of people’s lives I’m not privy to, even when it feels as if I’m privy to everything. Is that because my favorite bloggers create online personas that feel whole and complex? Is it because I have a strong sense of a distinct personality on display? Or is it the ongoing nature of the relationship. so much like the relationship I have with the real people in my life? My favorite bloggers have opinions they express, ideas they share, experiences they talk about. All of that plays into the sense of being given secrets; so much is shared that it’s hard to tell that not everything is out there.

The other part of this is that I’m wondering if anyone else who reads a few apparently personal blogs has this dual sense of “I know everything/of course I don’t know everything,” and how they feel about the duality. If you have some thoughts on this, I’d love to hear them.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jennifer B
    May 06, 2009 @ 09:53:29

    There is much I don’t share Katy…so much so sometimes, that I feel close to being a fraud. Then I ask myself, who do I tell these things to in my real (physical) life circle of friends. Almost none is the answer and I’m left with the realization that some things are simply not shared outside the home. And some, not shared outside of your head. Period. May be uncomfortable at times (that fraud feeling), but I think it’s natural and ok. Hope things work themselves out for you.

    Reply

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